This morning country singer Clay Walker was on The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet.  He was talking about the day he received the biggest wake-up call of his life.

Eleven years ago, he was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.  The doctors told him that he was going to die.  Today, watching him, you would never even know that he had an illness.

He told Mike and Juliet, the hosts, that this illness caused him to re-evaluate his entire life.  When he was first diagnosed, he wasn’t happy.  His life wasn’t in balance. 

Today, he credits his health with healing his body, mind, and spirit.  He takes the time to do things he loves.  He spends more time with his family.  He makes a conscious effort to live a more balanced life.

What’s Your Wake-Up Call?

Seeing him on the show this morning really got me thinking.  How many times do you refuse to change part of your life until something bad happens?  It could be an illness, divorce, or getting hurt on the job.  Each one of these things forces you to change direction in your life. 

The tricky part is recognizing that it is God’s intervention.  So many times you refuse to make the change on your own.  If that is the case, God steps in and throws you a complete curve ball.  This curve ball forces the change on you.

How Do You Handle the Change?

When a serious life-altering event is taking place in your life, how do you deal with it?  It’s very easy to fall straight into the victim role.  It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself and think that the world is ending. 

The truth is, that the world is ending as you know it.  BUT it’s not ending completely.  Now is the time to take inventory of your life.  What is working and what isn’t? 

It’s time to do a lot of internal housekeeping.  What needs to change?  What can you let go of that is no longer serving you?  What emotions, pain, anger, or guilt do you need to release?

It’s time to start over with a clean slate.  It’s time to get back to who you are and who you want to be.  It’s time to thank God for this blessing.  It’s time to find the silver-lining. 

 

“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love.  In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” ~ Robert Muller

I decided long ago that I couldn’t hold onto hurt anymore.  I’m not the type of person that nurses a grudge or seeks revenge.  I personally don’t see the point in it. 

Not that is has always been an easy path.  There were times when the hurt was very deep.  There were events that have shaped who I am.  BUT, I have come to realize that holding on to this pain, only wreaks havoc on my own life.

Self-Forgiveness

I have actually discovered that it has been much harder to forgive myself than to forgive others.  You maybe feel the same way.  Are you judging yourself for something you have done?  Do you feel guilty?  Do you remember saying something that hurt someone you love?

Forgiveness is a very important step in your spiritual journey.  It is absolutely crucial to let yourself off the hook.  If you are carrying guilt over the past, there is very little room left to fit happiness into your life. 

It doesn’t mean that what you did was right.  It only means that you decide and know that you were doing the very best you could at the time.  That is all any of us can do. 

Forgiving Others 

When you refuse to forgive another person, you are putting yourself in the role of the victim.  It is a very powerless place to be.  It means that people do things to you.

What I would like for you to understand is that no one is a victim.  You are the creator of your life.  Sometimes we attract less than desirable situations as part of a spiritual lesson.  It can be very painful, but it is important to find the lesson in each circumstance. 

I would like for you to take back your power.  I would like you to see yourself in the role of the creator.  I would absolutely love for you to find and learn the lessons in your life.  They are there. 

Look back over the times that you struggled.  What came of it?  How did you grow?  When you can see that these struggles are really growth periods, it makes the road you travel much easier.

 

With Valentine’s Day almost here, I know that a lot of you have love on your mind.  This can be a wonderful time to celebrate a love that you share with someone special.  But it can also be a time that causes a lot of pain. 

Recently, a good friend of mine called because he is experiencing heartache right now.  He has just ended a very significant relationship and is feeling a lot of pain.  As he explains, the problem was that he is unable to open his heart for fear of being hurt yet again. 

His question to me was simply, “Terri, what should I do?”  I know that there isn’t just one simple answer here.  It is a lot more in-depth than just saying, “Give her space”.  So, I will do my best to break down some steps in this process for you.

Loving Again

• Please check your baggage at the door.  One of the main causes of conflict and pain in relationships is emotional baggage.  You have all had experiences in the past that have caused you pain.  Maybe you were cheated on, or abused.  Maybe you didn’t see a healthy relationship between your parents.  These are all experiences that you have internalized and probably don’t even realize it.  The problem with this is that you can so easily carry them over into a new relationship.  It’s important to let it all go and heal from the past pain before embarking on a new journey of love.
• “Into Me I See”  In order to have a truly intimate, close connection with another person, you need to let your guard down.  You need to love without having any walls up.  You need to share that piece of you that you don’t show anyone else.  This is true intimacy.  It is vulnerable and can be scary.  BUT, it is necessary. 
• Relationship Skills  Unfortunately, you weren’t born knowing how to have a successful marriage.  They don’t teach it in school either.  But there are ways to learn how to have a healthy, happy relationship.  You need to learn how to communicate, resolve conflict, and keep the fires burning forever.  Don’t just jump in without knowing what to do.  Get the help that you need.

There is no guarantee when you enter a relationship.  Only God knows if it is going to work out.  But, it can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life.  So, go ahead, take that leap of faith. 

Everyone has an endless tape running through their heads.  It is a tape of all of the beliefs that you have of yourself and of others.  If you really stop to examine what is on YOUR tape, you can see WHY your life is the way it is. 

The other night, I heard Fabienne Fredrickson say, “If we spoke to our children the way we speak to ourselves, social services would come and take our children away”.  Think about that.  What are the things that you say to yourself?  What are the beliefs that you carry about who you are?

……….you’re not good enough.

……….you don’t deserve love, abundance, friends, etc.

……….you don’t do anything right.

……….look at what you’ve done.  You don’t deserve forgiveness.

……….who do you think you are?

……….you aren’t smart enough for that job.

……….everyone is going to laugh at you.

Can you see how these thoughts and beliefs are damaging you?  They are sabotaging the life that you really want to have.  I’m sure that you can add more to the list. 

In order to really create the life that you want, you need to dissolve these feelings.  You need to stop the tape in your mind.   Let those beliefs go.

Replace those old, limiting beliefs with new ones.  Truly know and believe that you are good enough.  You do deserve love, abundance, and perfect health.  You are love and you are perfect just the way you are.

Do you truly live your life as the “real you”?  Do you show the world the person that you are inside where no one else can see?  Do you even know who the “real you ” is?

I have spent most of my life behind a mask.  I have lived my life the way that other people wanted me to live.  In the past, I have allowed my parents, siblings, friends, and even partners to decide who I was going to be.  I have taken jobs that I didn’t want, lived in a city I didn’t want to be in, and basically lived a life that truly wasn’t mine.  All of the time feeling LOST.

You might be asking, “why would someone do that?”  The answer is simple.  I was too afraid to be the ”real me”.  And maybe I didn’t know who that woman was.  On some deep level, I was afraid to show the real me because I thought I would lose the love of everyone I cared about.  

I kept this part of me private.  I shared it only with someone that I truly trusted and it took a lot for me to trust you at that level.  I didn’t like making myself vulnerable to that extent.  Way too scary.

Now, I have taken the mask off.  I am showing you who I am.  I know that the only way I can live my divine purpose is to live from an authentic place.  God has given me a gift to share with the world and I am ready to step into that purpose now.

Here are some steps for you to live authentically too. 

1. Decide that you are tired of living as someone else.  Truly, it is exhausting trying to “be” who everyone wants you to be.  Your life feels as if it has no meaning.  Decide it is time to stop living in this self-imposed prison.
2. Discover who you really are.  Take time to find out who it is you are and who you want to be.  What sort of things do you enjoy?  Are you passionate about your life?  If not, take up new hobbies, learn something new, join a community of people that share the same interests as you.
3. Start living YOUR LIFE.  As you step into your true self, you might notice that your life is changing.  As you become you, your vibration changes.  People and situations may fall away that no longer serve you.  This is GOOD because you are making room for new people, places, and things that fit you in a way that the old life didn’t. 

Enjoy the new life you are creating.  Embrace the changes and let go of the mask.  You are beautiful and you deserve to feel the freedom of being the “real you”.